OK, first I must apologise. These updates were nowhere near as regular as I had intended. The reason? Simple ... everything else was a bit too much. Along with Steph I've spent the last year talking about my life growing up, my life after leaving home, my life now and how I intend to deal with life after adoption. Apparently Steph and I need to predict the future! ...... well, that's how it feels anyway.
Well .... we're almost at the end of the approval bit of all this. Here's where we're at: Our social worker is going to recommend that we be approved to adopt. So that's a big hurdle out the way. I won't go in to any detail of the last month or so as it would take to long. A hitch with the medical (surprise surprise) being the only real stumbling block worth mentioning.
My blood pressure was shown as high. I've never had an issue with it before. Whenever I've had my pressure done with one of those automated pieces of crap it shows high, but when someone takes it manually it's fine. AT the medical it was taken 4 times and it was shown high, but it was with an automated machine. Less than a week later it was taken manually at my annual Diabetic checkup and it was perfectly normal!
Anyway, it was highlighted by the medical adviser as the clinic appointment wasn't reported. I got put on monitoring for two weeks, but I asked for an appointment to get my pressure done manually right at the start. Long story short, the manual reading was perfect and 10 auto readings were high. I could rant but I won't.
Next up is three things: 2nd opinion visit, health and safety visit, Panel.
- The 2nd opinion visit is our social workers manager coming to meet us to get a feel for us and see that, at least on the surface, we meet her expectations of what the social worker has said.
- The H&S visit just means I need to tidy my office up a bit ;)
- The Panel.....that's the be all and end all. There we sit in front of a group of people between 30 and 60 minutes and they judge whether we are suitable to adopt. We get out go or no go on that day.
A few people have asked me what we would do if we don't get approved .... well I can't speak for Steph but for me I really don't know. I know that I will be beyond devastated. It was hard enough to be told the news before, but for strangers to judge me and Steph unsuitable to have a child I don't know how I would react. In all honesty I have tried not to think past the 6th of February. When I talk about it, it's if not when. I'm taking it day by day.
I knew all this would be hard, but I have found this way more difficult than I expected. I know Steph is the same. Emotionally and physically I'm/we're drained. That's why the updates were not too frequent. I've been on the edge ..... I could have chucked this in months ago. Steph kept me going. We'll help each other through each situation that arises I'm sure. Although if we do get denied I may take the council to court over the money we've spent! Seriously though, we've been asked to do a lot with no guarantee of a good outcome. If one more person tells me it'll be worth it ...... ;)
One thing I want to clear up is friends who are pregnant or who have children....we're happy for you all!!! Don't apologise for having kids or being pregnant. Please! Don't hide the fact, don't shy away from talking about it. We have our issue to get over. Is it tough? Yes, of course it is. We both have good days and bad with it, but life goes on. As long as our friends are happy, that helps us along. Yes I sometimes get upset or still cry when I think about it. I sometimes find it hard when thoughts cross my mind ... but there you go.
This might be the penultimate post....in fact it will be. After the 6th of February I will post one of two posts. The first will be if we get denied. That will be telling you why and about how you won't hear from me for a week. My phone will be off and the internet disconnected. The second will be if we get approved. That will say "YAY!" and tell you about what happens next, along with a quick summary of the whole thing. I may even get Steph to write a paragraph or two. After the panel it goes all hush hush! lol ;0)
I'm going to go now. I'm happy to talk more if you have questions.....just give me a shout.
Ross xx
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